During dinner, Mr. Bennet hardly spoke at all. But when the servants left the room, he decided it was time to talk to his guest. He chose a subject that he knew Mr. Collins would love: his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
Mr. Collins immediately began to praise her. He spoke with great seriousness, acting as if he were a very important man. He told the family that he had never seen such wonderful behavior from a woman of high rank. Lady Catherine was very rich, yet she had been very kind to him. She had liked his sermons and had even invited him to her great house, Rosings, for dinner.
"Many people think she is proud," Mr. Collins said, "but she has always been polite to me. She even advised me to get married as soon as possible! She even visited my small house and suggested that I put some new shelves in my closets."
"She sounds like a very agreeable woman," said Mrs. Bennet. "Does she have a family?"
"She has only one daughter," Mr. Collins replied. "She is the heiress of Rosings and will inherit a huge fortune."
"Is she beautiful?" Mrs. Bennet asked.
"She is a charming young lady," Mr. Collins answered. "Lady Catherine says that Miss de Bourgh is more beautiful than anyone else because she looks like a person of high birth. Unfortunately, she is often sick. Her poor health has stopped her from learning many skills, but she is very kind. She often drives past my house in her small carriage."
Mr. Bennet listened carefully. He realized that his cousin was as foolish as he had hoped. He looked at Elizabeth and smiled, enjoying the joke.
"You are very good at giving compliments, Mr. Collins," Mr. Bennet said. "Do these clever words come to you suddenly, or do you study them before you speak?"
Mr. Collins replied seriously, "They mostly come from the moment, though I do sometimes practice some elegant compliments to use on normal occasions. I try to make them sound as natural as possible."
By tea-time, Mr. Bennet had heard enough. After tea, he asked Mr. Collins to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins agreed, but when a book was brought to him, he jumped back. He explained that he never read novels. This shocked the younger sisters, Kitty and Lydia. Instead, he chose a book of serious religious lessons. He read in a very boring, slow voice.
After only three pages, Lydia interrupted him. She began talking loudly to her mother about the soldiers in Meryton. Mr. Collins was very offended. He closed the book and said, "It is amazing how little young ladies care for serious books, even when they are for their own good. I will not read anymore."
Mr. Bennet quickly invited him to play a game of backgammon instead. Mr. Collins agreed, telling the family that he did not hold a grudge against Lydia for her rudeness. While the girls talked, the two men sat down to play their game.