Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the Emperor’s palace. A conversation between the author and a principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author’s offers to serve the Emperor in his wars.
Once I had been granted my freedom, my first request was to visit Mildendo, the capital city. The Emperor easily granted permission, though he strictly charged me to avoid damaging the inhabitants or their homes. The wall surrounding the city is about two and a half feet high and eleven inches broad, allowing a coach and horses to be driven safely along its top. I stepped over the great western gate and walked very slowly through the two main streets, wearing only my short waistcoat for fear that the long skirts of my coat might damage the roofs. The streets were deserted, as everyone had been ordered to stay indoors, but the windows and rooftops were crowded with thousands of spectators. Mildendo is a perfect square, with two great streets that divide it into four quarters. Although the city is tiny to my eyes, it is capable of holding half a million people, and its markets and shops are remarkably well-supplied.
The Emperor’s palace stands at the very center of the city. While I was eager to see the royal apartments, I found it difficult because the inner walls were too high to step over without causing destruction. To solve this, I spent three days in the royal park cutting down several large trees with my knife to construct two stools. By placing one stool on either side of the palace walls, I was able to step over the buildings quite easily. I lay down on my side and peered through the open windows of the middle floor. There, I witnessed the most magnificent rooms imaginable and saw the Empress surrounded by her attendants. She was kind enough to smile at me and offered her hand through the window for me to kiss.
About two weeks later, Reldresal, the Principal Secretary for Private Affairs, came to visit me. He arrived with only one servant and asked for an hour of my time. I offered to lie down so he could speak into my ear, but he preferred to be held in my hand during our conversation. He began by congratulating me on my liberty, but he quickly admitted that my release was largely due to the dangerous situation the empire was currently facing.
"As prosperous as we may seem to a foreigner," Reldresal explained, "we are currently struggling with two great evils: a bitter political faction at home and the threat of an invasion from abroad."
He informed me that for many years, Lilliput had been divided into two parties: the Tramecksan and the Slamecksan, who are distinguished by the high or low heels of their shoes. Although the "High-Heels" claim to be more loyal to the ancient constitution, the Emperor has decided to employ only "Low-Heels" in his government. The animosity between these two groups is so intense that they refuse to eat, drink, or even speak to one another. Furthermore, we fear for the future, as the heir to the throne appears to have a tendency toward both parties, evidenced by the fact that one of his heels is higher than the other, causing him to limp.
In the midst of this internal conflict, Lilliput is also threatened by an invasion from Blefuscu, the only other great empire in the universe. Reldresal mentioned that their philosophers doubt my claim that other lands exist with people as large as myself, suspecting instead that I dropped from the moon or a star.
The war between Lilliput and Blefuscu has lasted for thirty-six months, sparked by a ridiculous dispute over how to break an egg. Traditionally, everyone broke eggs at the larger end. However, when the Emperor’s grandfather was a boy, he cut his finger while breaking an egg in this manner. Consequently, his father published an edict commanding everyone to break the smaller end instead. This law was so unpopular that it led to six rebellions and thousands of deaths. These "Big-Endian" rebels often fled to Blefuscu for protection, where they were encouraged to continue the conflict.
The Blefuscu government accuses us of religious heresy, claiming we are ignoring the teachings of our prophet, who stated that "all true believers shall break their eggs at the convenient end." Naturally, we believe the "convenient end" should be determined by each person’s conscience. Nevertheless, the conflict has resulted in a bloody war in which we have lost forty major ships and thirty thousand of our best soldiers. Now, the enemy has prepared a massive fleet and is ready to attack.
I asked the secretary to present my humble duty to the Emperor. I told him that while I did not think it appropriate for a foreigner like myself to interfere in local politics, I was prepared to risk my life to defend his person and his state against any foreign invader.