The Dispositions of the Laputians – Their Learning, Court, and Anxiety – An Account of the Women
Upon landing, I was immediately surrounded by a crowd. Those standing closest to me appeared to be of high rank, and they observed me with profound wonder. I was equally astonished, for I had never encountered a race of mortals so peculiar in their appearance and habits. Their heads were all tilted either to the right or the left; one of their eyes turned inward, while the other gazed directly upward toward the sky. Their garments were adorned with images of suns, moons, and stars, interwoven with various musical instruments such as fiddles, harps, and flutes.
I noticed many servants carrying a unique tool: a blown bladder fastened to the end of a stick, containing a few dried peas or small pebbles. These servants, known as "flappers," would occasionally strike the mouths or ears of those standing nearby. I soon learned that the minds of these people are so intensely occupied by abstract speculation that they can neither speak nor listen without being physically nudged back to reality. A man of status never walks abroad or visits the court without his flapper. The servant’s duty is to gently strike the mouth of the person who is to speak and the ear of the person who is to listen. Moreover, they must occasionally flap their master’s eyes to prevent him from walking off a precipice or bumping his head against a post, so lost is he in his own thoughts.
This state of constant contemplation meant that as I was led to the royal palace, my guides frequently forgot what they were doing and left me standing alone until their memories were jolted by their servants. At the palace, I found the King seated on his throne, surrounded by globes, spheres, and mathematical instruments. His Majesty took no notice of our arrival for at least an hour, as he was deep in the middle of a complex problem. Finally, after being flapped into awareness, he acknowledged me. When a page tried to flap my own ear, I signaled that I had no need for such assistance, which evidently gave the King a very poor opinion of my intelligence.
The King’s hospitality, however, was exceptional. I was given an apartment and provided with a dinner that reflected the nation's obsessions. We were served two courses: first, a shoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle and beef in the shape of a rhomboid; second, ducks prepared to look like fiddles and sausages resembling flutes. Even our bread was served in cones and cylinders.
By the assistance of a tutor and several persons of quality, I began to learn their language. Their vocabulary is heavily dependent on mathematics and music. To describe the beauty of a woman, for instance, they use terms like rhombs, circles, and ellipses. Within a few days, I discovered that the name of their floating empire, Laputa, supposedly derived from ancient words meaning "high governor," though I found the etymology questionable.
While waiting for new clothes, I spent my time expanding my dictionary. The tailoring process was as eccentric as their meals. Instead of using a tape measure, the tailor used a quadrant and a compass to calculate the dimensions of my body. Unfortunately, due to a slight mathematical error, the clothes he eventually delivered were completely misshapen and uncomfortable. I soon noticed that such practical failures were common and largely ignored by the inhabitants.
Despite their brilliance in theory, the Laputians are incredibly clumsy in daily life. Their houses are poorly built, with crooked walls and no right angles, because they despise practical geometry as a "vulgar" occupation for workmen. They are slow and perplexed by any subject that does not involve lines or notes. Curiously, they are also obsessed with politics and news, passionately disputing matters of state, even though they have little contact with the world below.
What I found most striking, however, was the constant state of anxiety in which they live. They never enjoy a moment’s peace, as they are perpetually terrified of celestial disasters. They fear the sun will eventually swallow the earth, or that a passing comet will reduce the world to ashes. When they meet in the morning, their first question is never about their health, but about the "health" of the sun. These terrors prevent them from sleeping quietly or enjoying the common pleasures of life.
The women of Laputa are full of vivacity and energy, quite unlike their husbands. They deeply despise the men’s constant speculation and are exceedingly fond of strangers from the continent below. Because a husband is often so "wrapped up" in a problem, his wife may carry on a blatant affair right before his eyes, provided he has his mathematical papers and no flapper nearby to alert him.
Many of these women long to leave the island and visit the capital city of Lagado on the firm earth below. However, the King rarely grants permission, as experience has shown that once a woman tastes the freedom of the world below, she is rarely willing to return. I was told of a high-ranking lady, married to the Prime Minister—the richest man in the kingdom—who fled to Lagado under the pretext of health. She was eventually found living in a filthy alleyway, dressed in rags, having sacrificed her fortune and status just to escape the detached, silent life she led with her brilliant husband.
In about a month, I had mastered enough of the language to converse with the King. However, His Majesty showed no interest in the laws, history, or government of Europe. His curiosity was confined strictly to the state of mathematics, and he received my accounts of my home country with a cold, intellectual contempt.