There was a table under a tree in front of the house. The March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A Dormouse (a small animal that looks like a mouse but sleeps a lot) sat between them. The Dormouse was fast asleep. The other two rested their elbows on the Dormouse. They talked over its head.
The table was very large. But the three animals sat together in one corner. "No room! No room!" they shouted when they saw Alice. Alice was angry. "There is plenty of room!" Alice said. She sat in a large chair at one end of the table.
"Have some wine," the March Hare said. Alice looked at the table. She only saw tea. "I do not see any wine," Alice said. "There is no wine," said the March Hare. Alice was angry. "It is not polite to offer wine if you have none," she said.
The Hatter looked at Alice for a long time. "Your hair is too long," he said. Alice told him he was rude. Then the Hatter asked a riddle (a difficult question with a clever answer). "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" he asked. Alice liked riddles and she wanted to find the answer.
The March Hare told Alice to say what she means. Alice said that "saying what I mean" is the same as "meaning what I say." The Hatter disagreed. He said, "I see what I eat" is not the same as "I eat what I see." The Dormouse said something in its sleep, and then everyone was silent.
The Hatter took a watch out of his pocket. He looked at it and shook it. He asked Alice the date. Alice said it was the fourth. The Hatter was angry at the March Hare. He said the watch was two days wrong because the March Hare put butter inside it.
"It was the best butter," the March Hare said. Alice looked at the watch. It was a very strange watch. It told the day of the month, but it did not tell the time. The Hatter said his watch was like Alice’s watch because the year stays the same for a long time.
Alice was very confused. She did not understand the Hatter. The Hatter asked if she had the answer to the riddle. Alice said she did not know the answer. "I do not know the answer either," said the Hatter. The March Hare did not know it either.
Alice was tired of the riddles. The Hatter began to talk about Time. He said Time is a person, not a thing. The Hatter said he argued with Time last March. Now, Time is angry with him. It is always six o'clock for the Hatter.
"That is why it is always tea-time," the Hatter said. "We have no time to wash the dishes." Alice asked what they do when the dishes are dirty. The Hatter said they move to the next seat. They all moved one place around the table. Alice had a very dirty plate now.
The March Hare asked the Dormouse to tell a story. They pinched the Dormouse to wake it up. The Dormouse began a story about three sisters. They lived at the bottom of a well. Alice asked what they ate. "They lived on treacle (a thick, sweet, dark sugar liquid)," the Dormouse said.
Alice said they would be very sick if they only ate treacle. "They were very sick," the Dormouse said. He said the sisters were learning to draw things that start with the letter M. They drew mouse-traps, the moon, and memory.
Alice asked too many questions. The Hatter was very rude to her again. Alice was very angry. "This is the stupidest tea-party in my life!" she said. She got up and walked into the wood. The animals did not look at her. They tried to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
Alice saw a tree with a door in it. She went inside the tree. Suddenly, she was in the long hall again. She was near the glass table. "I will do it better this time," Alice said. She took the golden key and opened the little door.
Alice ate a bit of the mushroom from her pocket. She grew until she was one foot tall. Then she walked down the small passage. Finally, she was in the beautiful garden. She was among the bright flowers and the cool fountains. Alice was very happy.