A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The character of a first minister of state in European courts.
My master remained bewildered by the motives that would drive people to commit such systematic injustice against their own kind. When I explained that they did it for "hire," I had to spend much time describing the nature and function of money. I explained that with enough of this precious substance, a Yahoo could purchase anything: noble houses, fine clothing, and absolute power. Consequently, our society is divided; the vast majority are forced to labor daily for meager wages, while a small minority enjoys a life of excessive luxury.
My master struggled to grasp why any nation would tolerate such a system, as he believed all creatures were entitled to a share of the earth's bounty. He was particularly shocked that we were forced to import food and drink from across the globe, as he considered it a sign of a failing country to be unable to feed its own inhabitants. I confessed that England produces three times as much food as we actually need, but because of our greed and vanity, we export our necessities and import luxury goods that bring only disease and vice. This inequality creates a massive class of people who must resort to begging, robbery, and every other form of deception to survive.
He was also deeply confused by our use of wine. I explained that it is not a necessity, but a substance consumed to banish melancholy, dull the mind, and spark wild, extravagant fantasies. Though it eventually leaves the drinker sick and dispirited, we continue to consume it, as it allows us to escape the pressures of our own lives.
The conversation eventually turned to the medical profession. I struggled to explain how, in a world created by nature to be perfect, we could suffer from so many diseases. I explained that we suffer because of our own excesses: we eat without hunger, drink without thirst, and live lives that defy natural laws. I described the physicians—a class of people who claim to cure us—but their methods are, in truth, as sickening as the illnesses they treat. They rely on horrific mixtures of herbs, animal parts, and vile substances designed to force the body into submission. Furthermore, they are often useless; if a patient unexpectedly recovers after the physician has predicted death, the doctor may even prescribe a "final" dose to ensure their reputation remains intact.
One day, I mentioned a "first minister of state," and my master commanded me to describe what kind of creature this was. I told him that such a minister is a person entirely stripped of empathy, joy, or grief, driven solely by a hunger for wealth and titles. They are masters of deception: they never tell the truth unless they want it to be mistaken for a lie, and their praise is usually a sign of impending ruin. They rise to power by betraying their rivals, bribing the government, or manipulating the public with false zeal. They turn their homes into schools for their servants, teaching them the arts of insolence, lying, and corruption, so that one day they might inherit their master's position.
My master, noting my relative cleanliness and intelligence, kindly suggested that I must have been born into a noble family. I thanked him but assured him that my origins were quite humble. I explained that nobility in my country is often the opposite of what he imagined. Our noblemen are raised in idleness and luxury, often ruining their health and fortunes through vice. When they marry, it is rarely for love, but to secure wealth, resulting in children who are often weak and deformed.
I told him that in my country, a sickly, sallow appearance is often considered the mark of "noble blood," whereas a healthy, robust appearance is so rare among the elite that it is often whispered such a person must have been fathered by a servant. These nobles hold the power to enact or repeal our laws and serve as the final judges over all property disputes, despite being, in my view, a collection of ignorance, pride, and sensuality. My master listened to these revelations with growing horror, saddened by the realization of how deeply the corruption of "reason" had distorted human existence.