Early the next morning, I walked toward Miss Havisham’s house. I felt like a knight in a story. I imagined that Miss Havisham wanted me to marry Estella and restore her dark, old house to its former glory. In my mind, I was the hero, and Estella was the princess.
Even though I loved her, I knew Estella was not perfect. I loved her against reason and against hope. I knew she could be cold and cruel, but I found her irresistible. I could not stop myself from loving her.
When I reached the gate, I rang the bell. I was surprised when a man in a grey suit opened it. It was Orlick!
"Orlick!" I cried. "What are you doing here?"
"I’m the new gatekeeper," he said surly. "It was getting dangerous here with convicts and strangers walking around. They needed someone strong to protect the house."
He looked at me with his heavy, dark eyes. He had a gun hanging on the wall of his small room. I didn't like seeing him there, but I said nothing and walked into the house.
I went upstairs to Miss Havisham’s room. She was sitting in her usual chair, looking at the fire. But sitting near her was an elegant lady I didn't recognize at first. When she looked up, I realized it was Estella. She had changed completely. She was now a beautiful, grown woman. As I looked at her, I suddenly felt like a "coarse and common" boy again. The distance between us felt huge.
"Do you find her changed, Pip?" Miss Havisham asked greedily.
"She is very different, Miss Havisham," I stammered.
Estella treated me like a boy, but she was more polite than before. She told me she had just returned from France and was going to London soon. Even though she was proud, her beauty made me forget all her faults.
Miss Havisham sent us into the garden to walk. As we walked among the weeds and dead trees, Estella remembered the day I had fought Herbert Pocket in this same garden.
"I enjoyed watching that fight," she said with a cold smile. "But you have changed your friends since then, haven't you?"
"Naturally," I said, trying to sound like a gentleman.
"And necessarily," she added. "The people you used to know are not suitable for you now."
Her words made me feel even more ashamed of Joe. I decided then that I definitely would not visit the forge.
As we walked, I noticed something strange. Occasionally, Estella would make a movement or have a look on her face that felt familiar. It reminded me of someone, but I couldn't remember who.
"You must know," Estella said, "that I have no heart. I have no softness or sympathy in me."
"I don't believe that," I replied. "You are too beautiful to have no heart."
"It is true," she insisted. "I have never felt tenderness for anyone."
When we returned to the house, I found that my guardian, Mr. Jaggers, had arrived on business. We all had dinner together. Mr. Jaggers was as cold and professional as always. He barely looked at Estella, even though she was stunning. After dinner, we played cards. Miss Havisham had put beautiful jewels in Estella’s hair, and she looked like a queen.
Before I left, Miss Havisham pulled me close to her. Her thin arm was surprisingly strong as she held my neck.
"Love her, Pip!" she whispered passionately. "Love her! If she is kind to you, love her. If she hurts you, love her. Even if she breaks your heart to pieces—love her!"
Her words sounded more like a curse than a blessing. She told me that real love meant giving up your whole soul to someone, even if they destroyed you.
That night, at the Blue Boar hotel, I couldn't sleep. Miss Havisham’s words, "Love her, love her, love her!" kept echoing in my ears. I felt so grateful that Estella was meant for me. I didn't think about Joe at all. I had forgotten the tears he had brought to my eyes only a day before. I only cared about becoming the man Estella wanted me to be.