Politeness and formality
How do we speak to suit the person and the situation?
Significado
The way we speak can show respect, closeness, or how formal a situation is. Polite and formal are not the same: friendly everyday words can be polite too. Some languages have special forms for addressing people, while others rely mainly on wording and tone. Requests and commands concerns the action we ask for; Politeness and formality concerns how we address the other person.
Como identificar
Compare how the wording or tone changes when the speaker addresses a different person or speaks in a different situation.
Na tua língua materna
Você is common for ordinary address, while tu and its verb patterns vary by region. O senhor and a senhora generally show respectful distance and take third-person verb forms, the same forms used with ele and ela. Expressions such as com licença and por favor add courtesy without making the whole conversation formal.
Você pode me ajudar um instante?
Você can be used in a courteous everyday request.
A senhora gostaria de sentar?
A senhora addresses the listener respectfully and takes a third-person verb form.
Com licença, posso passar?
Na tua língua de aprendizagem
English uses you for both informal and formal address, rather than separate pronouns for each. Greetings, titles, and phrases such as please and thank you help set the tone. Could or would can make a request less direct, but the wording and tone still matter.
Hi, Ben!
Hi is an informal greeting, often used with people you know.
Good morning, Ms. Brown.
The greeting and title suit a more formal relationship.
Could I ask you a question?
Could makes the question less direct; it does not refer to past time here.
Learners whose language has separate formal address forms may look for an equivalent pronoun or verb ending in English. Learners whose language commonly uses direct requests in polite situations may rely on please alone and still sound abrupt.