The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A high title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the Emperor of Blefuscu and sue for peace. The Empress’s apartment on fire by an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the palace.
The Empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of Lilliput, separated only by a channel eight hundred yards wide. Having been warned of an intended invasion, I avoided showing myself on that side of the coast, as I did not wish to be discovered by the enemy’s ships. All communication between the two empires had been strictly forbidden during the war, and our Emperor had laid an embargo on all vessels. I eventually proposed a plan to His Majesty to seize the enemy’s entire fleet, which our scouts reported was anchored in the harbour, waiting for a fair wind to set sail.
After consulting experienced sailors about the depth of the channel, I learned that even at high tide, it was only about six feet deep. I walked toward the coast and, hiding behind a hillock, used my small telescope to view the fleet: fifty men-of-war and numerous transport ships. Upon returning home, I ordered a great quantity of the strongest cable and several iron bars. The cable was about as thick as common twine, and the bars were the size of knitting needles. I twisted the cables together to increase their strength and bent the iron bars into hooks. Armed with fifty of these hooks, I returned to the shore.
I waded into the sea shortly before high tide, swimming a short distance in the middle where the water was deepest. When I reached the fleet, the enemy sailors were so terrified at the sight of me that they leaped overboard and swam for the shore. I quickly fastened a hook to the prow of each ship and tied all the cords together. While I was working, the enemy discharged thousands of arrows, which struck my hands and face with a sharp, stinging pain. Fearing for my eyes, I remembered my spectacles, which I had hidden from the searchers. I fastened them securely to my nose and, thus protected, continued my work despite the shower of arrows.
Once the hooks were fixed, I attempted to pull the fleet away, but the ships were held fast by their anchors. Consequently, I had to let go of the main cord and resolutely cut the anchor cables with my knife, despite receiving two hundred more shots to my face. Finally, I gathered the knotted end of my cables and easily pulled fifty of the enemy’s largest ships after me. When the Blefuscudians saw their fleet moving away in a perfect line, they let out a scream of despair. Once I was safely back in Lilliputian waters, I removed the arrows, applied some soothing ointment, and waited for the tide to fall so I could wade back to the royal port.
The Emperor and his court stood on the shore in great suspense. When I emerged from the water, I held up the cables and shouted, "Long live the most powerful King of Lilliput!" His Majesty received me with overwhelming praise and created me a Nardac on the spot, which is the highest title of honour in the kingdom.
However, the Emperor’s ambition proved to be immeasurable. He urged me to return and capture the rest of the enemy’s ships, as he desired to reduce Blefuscu to a mere province and force the Big-Endians to break the smaller end of their eggs. I firmly protested against this, arguing that I would never be an instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery. Although the wisest ministers agreed with me, my refusal deeply offended the Emperor. From that moment on, a small group of narrow-minded ministers, including my enemies Flimnap and Bolgolam, began to plot my destruction.
Three weeks later, a solemn embassy arrived from Blefuscu to negotiate peace. The treaty was highly advantageous to our Emperor, and during the process, I used my influence to help the ambassadors. In gratitude, they visited me privately, praising my generosity and inviting me to visit their kingdom. When I later asked the Emperor for permission to visit Blefuscu, he granted it with a coldness I did not yet understand. I was later informed that my friendliness toward the ambassadors was being interpreted as a sign of disloyalty.
Not long after, I was woken at midnight by frantic cries. The Empress’s apartments were on fire, caused by a maid of honour who had fallen asleep while reading a romance. I rushed to the palace, where I found the situation desperate. The Lilliputians were using buckets the size of thimbles, which did nothing to stop the violent flames. I had unfortunately left my coat behind, so I could not smother the fire. However, I suddenly thought of a most unusual expedient. The evening before, I had drunk a large amount of a delicious, diuretic wine. As I had not yet relieved myself, the heat of the fire and the stress of the moment allowed me to void such a great quantity of urine that the fire was entirely extinguished in three minutes.
While I had saved the palace, I returned home with a sense of apprehension. According to the fundamental laws of the realm, it is a capital crime to "make water" within the palace precincts. Although the Emperor sent word that he would arrange a pardon, I heard privately that the Empress was filled with abhorrence at my actions. She moved to a different part of the palace, refused to have her apartments repaired, and vowed revenge against me in the presence of her closest confidants.